HalfWife - FullHusband

1st Hitched Year : 2020

 I was looking for a caption, for my only blog of this year, something that explains the happiness and suffering of 2020 at the same time.

Last love.

First love is overrated, all it gives you is goosebumps, blood rush, restlessness and so many other confused feelings. If anything, good comes out of it, is that you learn few tricks for later, few real-life lessons and you get one tiny step closer to understanding human relationships.

I am in my thirties now, and when I look back at my last ten years, since left home, half of it seems pointless, making me a different person. Now if that is for the good or the worst, not sure!

I will be able to answer that only in the end.

Also, another life event since I last wrote is, I got engaged,

Though our ship is still facing some turbulence, I am very positive we will get through it. That is the thing, when you finally meet that one person who you feel for and you can spend your life with, you are not restless any more.

I myself have asked it so many times to others about to get married and many ask me these days, that how do you know you are ready, or this is the one?

Well honestly, I don't, but I know for sure that I have never, and never will I connect with anyone like I connect with her. Sure, it is not always like in seventh haven, and in many ways, we are like apples and oranges, but mostly we are in tune and we look and sound perfect together.

I trust her the most, among anyone I have met ever before, and I am at peace when she is around. I am always excited to talk to her, because of which I mostly ruin the surprises, which I initially wanted them to be and she is adorable most of the time :P

All though we both have to grow up a lot more, she makes me an honest man and I would like to believe, I have and will always tried to keep her life before mine, in all my thoughts and as per what my experiences have taught me.

having crossed half of my life assuming they give me thirty more to go,

I could not be any more confident and weather we tie the knot or not,

she is and will always be my last love.

Hyderabad - The City of Nizams

The family that travels together stays together.

The life in me, is because of us.

It's been 10 years I left home, to do my engineering in 2008, since then things have changed.

I left home, to follow a dream, education and a job, money and success, like every other kid, but always had a flake of hope that, at the end of the quest we will be together again and no matter what I do or how I do, all roads lead back home and now, that dream seems fading away, as I can’t be with the only people who matter the most for me because I need to earn for them, and home town does not support my skill set. 

My parent doesn’t want to leave the town and move with me, because this place is freaking urban and they don't have their social comfort and I understand that too.

Me 30, a semi successful career, decent salary, do enjoy whatever hobbies I have,
parents have started to get worried about me and my sister to get married now and have my own family. But, do I get married, just to repeat the same cycle all over again.

I understand the fact that we all need a partner for life,
I do feel the need too, at times,
and at others it’s because I am horny.
The thing that bothers me most is, what do I get out of the whole thing,

Finding love or a correct partner for life, feels like the most troubling thing I had to go in these three decades, and I am sure it is for everyone, but this stage is not what I was looking for, the boy that left home still wants to go back.

Things have changed, I have grownup, and so have them. I have a strong feeling, that we don't know each other anymore, we didn't grow old, only at two different places on the map & clock, but also on emotions, apologies I lack a measurement unit or a device for emotions.

At the end of the year 2017, my family was with me, and apparently when I say home, it’s not about the geographical location, it is about being with my old man and lady, and obviously the little sister.

I was happy, and not in persecute of it, the stage.

It has been a journey, and I still hope for the destination I left for.

Regards, J

Golgappa..

Hellos, Kids of  90's

We genuinely are the luckiest ones, we saw the mobile revolution, FRIENDS, Windows 95 to Windows 10 journey, best of cartoon network, APJ as president of India and Barack Obama in the states, lot more and demonetization these days in my country,

The famous Dosas.

Well, this is not about any of those, this one is about one of our recent experience, but lets get this straight, I am not a food critic, neither a travel writer, it is about just a fine Friday, we thought to explore a near by, talked about place called, "Khau galli - Ghatkopar" .

After just few hundred steps or lets say 15 minutes, from Ghatkopar metro station (Get down to the east side of the station), you will find this oddly crowded, festive lane, yup.. just a lane.

Let me break it down for you 

(Khau or khaana - Eat or Food & Gali - Lane), so it basically is a lane were you eat, just in case you are new to Mumbai or you have people who are new to Mumbai, be aware of the Red bus, you don't wanna trust the traffic or the breaks of that bus.

Very vegetarian, and very festive, the moment we entered we could see the smoke of fresh butter on the hot tawa, and you could really feel the fragrance of cardamom, cloves, black pepper..

fresh cut green vegetables,, and the waiting crowed, eating crowed and those expressions of feeling the perfect bled of spices in your mouth. 

Jini

We started with Pao Bhajis..

Bread dipped in butter, with thick gravy and lots of cheese, well you could also enjoy sips of fresh lime soda over the starters, trust me you will love it if you are a Pao Bhagi Fan.

I must say walking down Khau Gali is more fun, that the food actually, it is almost like a food festival.

Go with your friends, or family..

with recent acquaintances or colleagues..

or may be special ones..

Share a bite or may be go for a Golgappa race.

Though we were full to neck, we tried Golgappa, well and it was nice, it had to be

Every Indian loves it, I sometimes feel it should be our national snack :D

We shared it, and we loved it, fried puff-pastry balls filled with spiced Boondi (a Rajasthani snack made up of sweetended chickpea flour ) , spiced cold water, and a bit of tamarind juce.
more than the Golgappas, i loved the expressions of the ones with me.

We had already ordered for the jini, and by the time we returned from out tiny golgappa expedition it was yet not done, so be a little patient these guys at the dosa stall can make around 150 kids of Dosas, isn't that amassing, and all that at not a very expensive rate. When jini arrived, few of us said no, but few still were up for it.
Dosas are almost the main-course in the south India, and it has gained its face all over, with time.
jini was no difference, looked delicious, smelled beautiful and served in an entirely unique way.

We enjoyed it,
Well let me say i did, and i loved living this small experiences and the teeny-tiny moments of walking that road, with people i might not ever see again.

Take it from me,
not only, you should say what you feel like and not regret that you didn't
but, you can also eat that extra calorie sometimes, and not worry about your weight, mother earth can handle few pounds more...
ha ha

In the end, they did let one of us try our hand too,
Now i am not sure if they will let you do that, But i am sure, you will love the little experience

So stay safe and take care ill see you soon
regards,
jay..

switch.

Almost a moth to go for my birthday, turning a year older.

I am an advisory consultant now, in one of the big four auditing firms all around the globe, i am supposed to be an expert, at understanding business needs, and software solutions to make it as robust and alive as possible, well at least make it pretend that it is alive.

Our lives are equally complicated and it has its own phases, like a software development life cycle.

Pehchan - turn over a new leaf

This could have been anyone's story, a kid who lost his parents and found a new life, pun intended, a teenager who does not know what is eating him inside-out, the young ones who have no idea how heart breaking life can be, the one in their twenties struggling poverty, hunger, livelihood and drugs and the elderly with the cold eyes staring at the dead end, not even knowing if they missed in their pursuit to live.

 

A few of them made a difference, around an year ago a rather small group passing by the over-bridge at ghansoli, was touched with the fight these people were putting against every believe of civil society and in favor of the  Darwin's biological ones, writing, "This survival of the fittest, which I have here sought to express in real social senses and the place is now, known for the school named Pehchaan.

At pehchan they are trying to cure it at the seedling, at the stem and at the leaves, all together making a non ruptured or ready to collapse, neighborhood, under the bridge.

Students ranging the age of 2 to 25 trying to read, write, do everyday mathematics, the home makers of the under bridge trying to make it over the bridge, and hey.....

they do even have a computer now !!

Teachers at Pehchan are the strong contributing hands of a few home makers, engineers, doctors, media persons, students and many more from all sectors of the same civic society.

Pehchaan tries to impart knowledge and behavior, a respect towards unity and elders.

You just need to experience the voice texture and the full throttle smiles of those kids singing the national anthem, chanting A for Apple and B for Ball.. 

ladies amassed to watch Saba stitch a button on a shirt, the cartoons talking in the Friday video class.

or the fumes of special day treats and the melody of

 "If you are Happy and you know it.... ".

the evenings don't go as happy as those lines everyday, teachers caught up in their own lives, usually decreases the moral of the school.

"Some days the light, others the rain

some days the drain inside-out, 

other the prolific left alone pain.."

Pehchan on the shoulders of few who never leave it alone is still fighting a new battle every day.

Come be a part of the war.

for further details logOn to the Fb page

Pehchaan-The-street-School

  

soon ill be up with all my experiances at pehchan in the form of a book called Overbridged.

stay tuned

jay.

Modifying me...

jyotirlinga

E's Vs D's

hellos, 

dea reader, all my wishes for a very beautiful new yea..

Lnt ebg, my client, one of the giant's in the electrical and business gear, is managed throughout the country on applications made by me, SAP. One routine stops, and they cant print gate passes any more, which leads to 100s of trucks in a line waiting at the gate and then the highway traffic stuck.

Now this guy, which is me, on the computer all day, to keep the traffic on the highway working, cant smile, normal gingivitis... painful and irritating.  It just wont go.

Then I enter this clinic called 32 smiles, and a beautiful dentist., says allot and I cant stop looking at her,  just do whatever you said..
And their you go, two sittings, scary but not so painful.. and she really gave me 32 smiles..
I though had a crush for the dentist, but m better away :P

The point is, she made me and my pocket really light !

My elder sister is a dentist,  a new frnd is gonna become one, an old school frnd is gonna be a doctor, as a matter of fact two are.
My little sister is a software engineer, my brother is preparing to become one, in fact, most of my best friends are engineers. 

Doctor, as a title, originates from the Latin word of the same spelling and meaning. The word is originally an agentive noun of the Latin verb docēre 'to teach'. It has been used as an horned academic title for over a millennium in Europe, where it dates back to the rise of the first universities on the other side engineers..

Hah, well i know how have i finished my engineering, so even if their is a history to support how amazing we can be... l will pass :P 

but on a serious note, both of them are from the most educated group of people, and have their own respect in Indian or any other social republic.

By a personal notion, i respect doctors more, for all the possible reasons you might be already knowing and because if you are in pain, out of ten times, in seven you know who can .. take it away !

regards,, j..

I don’t mind cockroach, till it don’t fly!!

Hey all bloggers, long time no see,

Well, here I am.. What’s up?

I am still trying to work with my company in Mumbai, though it’s a little difficult to try with my company rather than for my company. Has all changed? 

Nop, not much same client same work. Few friends are gonna get married soon, few gonna get an all new level of cute little responsibility, some still fighting the sun, some fighting to make their name, some leaving the company, but yes not much has changed. At the age of 20es, I guess one of the biggest demons haunting you all the time is marriage.

I see my friends preparing for their marriage. You could not indulge into everything girls talk about, but yes the boys at home are not easy in any way.

“Working or No-Working, beauty doesn’t matter she should be good in nature, bhai, khana achcha banana cheye!! (Well that one seems a unisex requirement these days), mera kya hoga m already 26.

Gosh... please, the place where I belong, ten year gap between spouses is normal. OMG let’s call it a generation gap. Dowry still breaths and breeds, few families are fighting against it, others for it and that is how they maintain the equilibrium.

“We don’t believe in burning the bride – magar thoda help ho jata toh achcha tha (a bit of help would be good)”

“We don’t give dowry, just a piece of land. apni khusi se !!” and the list goes on ..

Consider a sidewalk. Some litter accumulates. Soon, more litter accumulates. Eventually, people even start leaving bags of trash from take-out restaurants.

The term "Zero Tolerance" appeared for the first time in a report in 1994. The idea behind this expression can be traced back to the Safe and Clean Neighborhoods Act, approved in New Jersey in 1973, of which inherits the same underlying assumptions. The ideas behind the 1973 New Jersey policy were later popularized in 1982, when a popular magazine published the broken windows theory of crime.

The broken windows theory of crime says, Consider a building with a few broken windows. If the windows are not repaired, the tendency is for vandals to break a few more windows. Eventually, they may even break into the building, and if it's unoccupied, perhaps become squatters or light fires inside.

India is changing, even after handling huge stress at the LOC from two near ends. A new prime minister and billions of hope lamps seems promising yet difficult. 

Recent elections where one of a kind, new parties old alliances, and broken strings, people where fighting their guts out. One got the royal chair of the biggest democracy in the world the other was on quit a defamed trail.

People with not so decent track has always been there in our society with a political camouflage, perhaps that is why we now don’t believe in purity any more, rather the least impure seems more promising.

I have seen, observed people saying, this government will not do scams, not at least as big as the last one.

Like I said, we do not only mind cockroaches...
We do not mind alot more.. till it comes our way.

Regards

Hopeless, j..

Strange Changes...

Life is like the I pod, no matter how u plan ur playlist u might not be able to avoid the track cummin up next.

A boy meets a girl, and the girl in turn meets a boy, attraction, like, affection, care words follow but the sad part is bored, fore granted, sorry, shout .... as i said, words follow...
All of us know the only thing that brings  & keeps two persons together is love and affection, they may turn it up in to a relationship, which is supposed to be the fruit.
Wooho.. plz dont go, this is not another thesis on relationships... i knw this is not going in with the images...  but it will intern .. :P

The thread that ties us, after all we try and impress and do really put allot of emotional investment for this thread to exist and by the logic it should be the most important thing to protect and cared for, but suddenly for simplest of the reasons or may be mistakes by one counterpart the other starts putting the same thread as the bait, a thing to scare the other from being broken apart, and then, i cant bare you, enough, you are impossible, how can you, i didn't expect this, i did expect that and its over.... and now even words refuse to follow..

They say, this love will change you, well does any thing stays the same ?

nop, just same strange changes, and even if it does isn't that what love supposed to do ?

 We all grow old, aging is quit a process. At nine dream of twelve and then the teenage, being young, thirties  and forty five and then we want to go back.. well, i thought growing up was the whole point.
Same eve of scintillation 2013 came with more of a shock.......



One of very good friends and a mentor is getting divorced and to be frank i am sad, cause i could relate to him, and now i can relate more..
and that is why these picks don't go with my words..
i came to know in the later part of the eve.

Well any ways we had our "Annual day" defiantly-maybe ( :P ) at lnt infotech and was cool.. fun and lots of dancing, particularly as turn up the music cause the sun just came up,and if they try to turn us down..

will leave you with few clicks ...
Though Amal had this strain , he is our personal rajni anna.. nothing less than " the world is about to end" could stop him from dancing..

we change, some for good some out of no explainable reasons. Now excepting and rejecting depend on you or may be the right now wala state of you..

"coz the set of values you variables contain at that particular instant of time defines you, at the moment level..

people call it a moment, i call it life...

learning life..."

the host was RJ Malishka, red FM wali.. ;)
awsome bajatey raho of all the seniors with Sunny Leon, and widely appreciated duo meant jokes.

and now the last one, this is Ashish & Gautam,
we enjoyed allot, danced, screamed- i mean northern, Punjabi, the vulgar ones and the most decent steps... the call was " Disko me jab ye gana bajega, step kark dikhana parega ;)" We danced our way out of the place with everyone, changes might be strange but sometimes they r for good.. now plz dont ask who's and why ..

and about the prior, ill say if you ever care for something please do not put it on bait, do not let the love go.. cause it leaves behind sorrow, grief and vacant space..

and like i said, just words follow..

good monin and good night

regards, hopeless, j..

That was then, this is now..

Truth, is a very tricky thing.., well, it has tricked me quit a few times now..

Importance,  priority, happyness, trust.., words with really heavy meanings..
after all these r the words, which decides the orientation of the flip..
the words we use.

They say dont lie, it hearts when the truth comes in the light, I say ooh cumon, please turn the lights off, because if it is harse. The truth kills u every day.. " a bit of heart attack, a bit of blood pressure,  a bit of dissatisfaction,  disappointment evry day... sounds creepy ?

Yes it does to me. At least a lie for gud.. givs u one little hope to think one way..
To chose for the end or refresh.....
 

They say work on time, else the sword hangs right above the neck, and the sharp edge is about to let everything white be bygones.. the work becomes tuff, I say when I get going, tuff gets going..

Have u experienced that last drop of the chocolate shake.. the golden drop of bear, last scoop of the Nutella,  that winning shot on the last ball and that loosing wicket too one may be tha same, last spoon of Maggie, last breath of the kiss, the last memory.. well, the word is "marginal utility".

They say, stand alone..
I don't say a thing, cause I walk the streets alone, I here be in on my own.. and I knw how it feels being a thousand miles away from home, from all of them whose presence makes difference.
I knw how it feel to be with the one you love..  ha ha and then when she slams the door..
But m ova hea, all alone, n m doing juuust fine..

 

this was not me since ever, a movie or a TV series or a game could consume me for months. Though I am a loner for sum time now, ....
since like...... always,
but this is different, I decided to teach orphan kids on Saturdays which intern made me busy and satisfied because I could help and sad because INDIAN government still just spends 900 Indian rupees for one child.... wait the point is "in an year".

 

this weekend couldn't teach so I decided ill work.. m going office on Sunday's..

I could give any thing for an extra Sunday, now I will do any thing to through it away.

 

They say that was then...

and I say this is Now.

regards

hopeless, j



Locked from inside...

Dear reader,

i was just sitting at the cafe the other evening, and some one comes on the front a look and eyes drove away...
the thought that consumes me, is we do check out people. Everyone around, the narial pani wala, the stressed out  shopkeeper who couldn't make a sale yet, aunty carrying the vegetables, men, women, workers kids, beggars ...

Did u look at the expressions, i tried.. like i could read out their faces.. not like lines, but like thoughts. If not the precise data, moreover the nature of the thought.
What if i could say hey, whats up.. and what is going on , hows life buddy.
but its like everyone has shut their doors locked it up and buried the key .. as if the "line Break the ice" , should be like "break the door", the ice was colder.. now the door is hard, wood-ish, and a bad conductor of warmth and spark.

I asked Amal, is this idea too awkward of knowing everyone, if we could say hellos to everyone, communicate and share.. i mean not on Fb.
he says it isn't a very strange notion as it actually happens when you are in your neighborhood, you grow up their, you know everyone, can talk and say hi..

after traveling all the places and keep on leaving people behind, loved ones way apart somewhere in the other corner of the country or the loved ones stay near by, the love goes way apart in the  other corner of nowhere and i forgot what "neighborhood" means! and how it feels like knowing.. and not-if knowing
feel the absence..

well any ways ABSENCE has been a real word for me these days, again.


regards.. jey

Dear reader,
i was just sitting at the cafe the other evening, and some one comes on the front a look and eyes drove away...the thought that consumes me, is we do check out people. Everyone around, the narial pani wala, the stressed out  shopkeeper who couldn't make a sale yet, aunty carrying the vegetables, men, women, workers kids, beggars ...
Did u look at the expressions, i tried.. like i could read out their faces.. not like lines, but like thoughts. If not the precise data, moreover the nature of the thought.What if i could say hey, whats up.. and what is going on , hows life buddy.but its like everyone has shut their doors locked it up and buried the key .. as if the "line Break the ice" , should be like "break the door", the ice was colder.. now the door is hard, wood-ish, and a bad conductor of warmth and spark.
I asked Amal, is this idea too awkward of knowing everyone, if we could say hellos to everyone, communicate and share.. i mean not on Fb.he says it isn't a very strange notion as it actually happens when you are in your neighborhood, you grow up their, you know everyone, can talk and say hi..
after traveling all the places and keep on leaving people behind, loved ones way apart somewhere in the other corner of the country or the loved ones stay near by, the love goes way apart in the  other corner of nowhere and i forgot what "neighborhood" means! and how it feels like knowing.. and not-if knowingfeel the absence..
well any ways ABSENCE has been a real word for me these days, again.

regards.. jey

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend, I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe, I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears, Night and morning with my tears 

And I sunned it with smiles, And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,Till it bore an apple bright.

And my foe beheld it shine. And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole..

When the night had veiled the pole, 

In the morning glad I see

My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Honorable courage...

THERE IS NOT TO MAKE REPLCOURAGEON WHY, THERE IS TO DO AND DIE. 

COURAGE IS A HARD THING TO FIGURE,
YOU CAN HAVE COURAGE BASED ON A DUMB IDEA OR MISTAKE.

BUT YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION THE DON'TS, OR YOU’RE COACH OR YOUR TEACHER,.. BEACUSE THEY MAKE THE RULES, MAYBE THEY KNOW THE BEST OR MAY BE THEY DONT. 

THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ARE, WHERE U COME FROM...

DIDNT AT LEST ONE OF THE SIX HUNDRED GUYS THOUGHT OF GIVING UP AND JOINING WITH THE OTHER SIDE. I MEAN VALLY OF DEATH, THAT IS PREETY SALTY STUFF, AND WHY GO FAR AWAY, MAHABHARATA.. ONE OUR WOM EPICS WAS A MASACURE.. AND NONE OF MILLIONS FIGHTING EVER, TOOK A FOOT BEHIND..
COURAGE IS REALLY TRICKY,..

SHOULD YOU ALWAY

DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD TO DO?

SOMETIMES YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING, I MEAN ANY FOOL CAN HAVE COURAGE...
BUT HONOR, THAT’S THE REAL REASON YOU ITHER DO SOME THING OR YOU DONT  IT’S WHO YOU ARE AND MAY BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, IF YOU DIE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT THEN YOU HAV BOTH HONOR AND COURAGE, AND THAT IS PREETY GOOD. 

I THINK THAT IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY , WE SHOULD HOPE FOR COURAGE AND TRY FOR HONOR AND MAY BE EVEN PRY FOR THE  PEOPLE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO,
THEY SHOULD, HAVE SOME TOO..

I HAVE HAD, THE FOOLISH COURAGE MOSTLY AND HONER SOME TIMES TOO, AND TRUST ME LOVE, IT IS NOT THE BEST FEELING..

WELL IN ANY CASE, IF YOU CHOSE TO FEEL..

REGARDS

HOPELESS, JEY

The Cup and the turtle..

Princess 10:21 : put ur cup in the drawer, n lock it no one will take it

grow up..

Jack 10:22 : hmnnh..

i know no one will take it ..but :(

Princess 10:23  :  then??

Jack 10:23  :  ohk

Princess 10:23  :  what?? tell me

Jack 10:24  :  its just that its new and green

Princess 10:25  :  and???

Jack 10:25  :  emm..and its a cup :P

Princess 10:25  :  so???????????

Jack 10:25  :  how a cup stay with a tortoise ???

Princess 10:26  :  keep the cup in drawer and tortotise on desk and tell ur tortotise not to eat ur cup

Jack 10:27  :  :P ur talking childish, how will the tortoise eat the cup ??

the cup is bigger ?

Princess 10:28  :  like a child eat mutton

Jack 10:29  :  now how does that connect 

because the child is smaller than the goate ??

gote *

Princess 10:38  :  no goat is bigger than child

Jack 10:40  :  hmnn..

Princess 10:40  :  crawling child

Jack 10:41  :  they just drink the milk ..

Princess 10:42  :  no

Jack 10:42  :  not eat the compleate goat

Princess 10:42  :  yeah not the complete, but some part of it

Jack 10:43  :  they dont even have teeth

may be one or two..in the front, like a rabbit

Princess 10:43  :  so they can just swallow it :P

Jack 10:44  :  ewwwuuu.. swallow a goat

Princess 10:44  :  no..only leg piece or so

Jack 10:45  :  a goat's leg ???

Princess 10:45  :  yes

Jack 10:46  :  isnt that pritty much bigger ??

Princess 10:52  : preety*

yeah it is but when its dead and cut into pieces, child can have it

Jack 10:53  : but my cup is not dead :'(

Princess 10:55  : then??

why cannt u keep it with ur toy turtle? :@

Jack 10:56  : my turtle is not a toy :$

Princess 10:56  : ahhhh ohkay

then tell me y cant u keep ur cup with ur turtle??

Jack 10:57  : i can *-)

Princess 10:57  : then????

Jack 10:58  : then nothin

g... u only said the cup will eat my turtle :(

no one should eat my turtle

never

not acceptable !!

Princess 10:59  : i said ur cup will NOT eat ur turtle

Jack 11:00  : but u said the turtle will eat the cup :(

like the child eats the goat :$

my poor little green cupno one sud eat my cup:(

not even the leg peace of my cup….   

inspired by a true chat.. of two fully adult software engineers..

if u believe in it.. 

regards.. hopeless, jey

You and I..